


out of place

by venndaai



Category: Imperial Radch Series - Ann Leckie
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amaat Four - Freeform, Ekalu - Freeform, Other, Parallel Universes, except she's called Kalr Four in this for Reasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 16:48:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19233151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/venndaai/pseuds/venndaai
Summary: “Seivarden Vendaai?” Breq asked. Flat, emotionless, but the long pause before she’d spoken said volumes.Seivarden nodded. “That is my name, yes. I assume you’re not my Fleet Captain.”“Not as far as I’m aware,” said the Breq on the screen, “though that is my title. Your ship-”“-Is Mercy of Kalr, yes,” Seivarden said, making a gesture that indicated the complex mind of Amaat. “I think there may have been something of a mixup.”“That’s certainly one way to describe it,” Breq said. “As far as I know, you’ve been dead for a thousand years.”





	out of place

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gostaks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gostaks/gifts).



“Seivarden Vendaai?” Breq asked. Flat, emotionless, but the long pause before she’d spoken said volumes.

Seivarden nodded. “That is my name, yes. I assume you’re not my Fleet Captain.”

“Not as far as I’m aware,” said the Breq on the screen, “though that is my title. Your ship-”

“-Is _Mercy of Kalr_ , yes,” Seivarden said, making a gesture that indicated the complex mind of Amaat. “I think there may have been something of a mixup.”

“That’s certainly one way to describe it,” Breq said. “As far as I know, you’ve been dead for a thousand years.”

“It’s a long story,” Seivarden said. “Care to join me for tea while we figure this mess out? Your ship or mine,” she added hastily, realizing that Breq might not wish to put herself at the mercy of strangers.

“-very well,” Breq said, after another pause. “I accept your invitation. One of my shuttles can take me over.”

“Excellent,” Seivarden said.

After the connection had cut she sat in the captain’s chair a moment longer, worrying at the edge of one glove. “Sir,” Ship said, through Kalr Four. “Which tea set should we use?”

Seivarden wanted to say the old white set, but she suspected that would offend. “The best in the cupboard,” she said. “Should we be in the captain’s quarters? Or the Amaat decade room?”

“Captain’s quarters might be better,” Ship suggested. “I am sure the sight of soldiers she might know may be disturbing. We should minimize that.”

“Good thinking, Ship,” Seivarden said, but she couldn’t put enough cheer into her voice to disguise the nervousness.

 

 

Breq, when Four escorted her into the captain’s quarters, looked almost exactly the same as she had when Seivarden had last seen her a year ago. But only almost. Seivarden catalogued the differences. Her shaved head made her look older, and she wasn’t wearing Lieutenant Awn’s pin on her jacket. But the main thing Seivarden couldn’t help but notice was that she didn’t walk with the slightest hint of a limp.

She was accompanied by Ekalu, who was wearing the insignia of an Amaat lieutenant, and looking deeply uncomfortable. It took Seivarden a long moment to realize this wasn’t actually her Amaat lieutenant Ekalu.

Breq was humming something tense and low-pitched, and Seivarden felt her mouth quirk in an almost-smile. Some things didn’t change, then.

“The captain and I should speak alone,” Breq said, to her Ekalu, who opened her mouth to protest. “It’s all right,” Breq said. “You are at liberty to speak to the crew here, if you wish.”

“I will be outside, sir,” Ekalu said, with a bow. She bowed to Seivarden, too. “Sir.”

“Lieutenat. Thank you, Four.”  Four bowed, to her and Breq and Ekalu, and backed out of the room, Ekalu following her. The door swished closed behind them.

Breq watched them go, before her attention returned to Seivarden, who was pouring tea into two bowls. She’d brewed it herself, which she didn’t usually do, but Ship, and Four, had allowed her this.

“Four will bring Lieutenant Ekalu tea,” Seivarden said. “I hope you like this blend. It’s your favorite- I mean, my Fleet Captain’s favorite.”

Breq looked at the tea. She sat, and picked up the bowl, and sipped. “It’s good,” she said.

“Good,” Seivarden said. “I’ve contacted Athoek and they seem to have no idea who I am, so I’m guessing my ship is the one that’s- in the wrong place.”

“I see,” Breq said. “We’ll try to get you home, of course.”

“I appreciate that,” Seivarden said. “On my own behalf, and my soldiers’, and my ship’s. Perhaps, if you wouldn’t mind indulging my curiosity a little, I could ask- why aren’t you at the Conclave?”

“I was needed at Athoek,” Breq said. “I sent _Sphene_.”

Seivarden snorted. “You trusted it to behave itself?” she asked, incredulous.

“With the proper motivation, yes,” Breq said. “Tisarwat went with her. They’ll watch each other.” She took another sip of tea, and eyed Seivarden over the bowl. “‘The Conclave is happening, where you come from, then?”

“Yes,” Seivarden said. “You went, to represent the AIs of the Republic. You did call it the Republic of Two Systems?”

“Yes,” Breq said.

“I told you not to,” Seivarden said, “but you don’t listen to me often.” She laughed, but it fell a little flat. Words appeared in her vision, then. “ _Mercy of Kalr_ \- my _Mercy of Kalr_ \- would like to ask you a question,” she said. It felt awkward, having to announce it. Usually when she spoke for Ship it was either clear from the context or it was orders and it didn’t matter which of them they came from. “Do your soldiers know that you’re _Justice of Toren_?”

 _A bit blunt, Ship,_ she thought, knowing that Mercy of Kalr would guess what she was thinking from her slightly hot face and the thought didn’t need to be vocalized.

The humming went up in pitch for a moment- surprise. “Yes,” Breq said. “Though they don’t like to think about it. And I assume so do yours, if I’m representing AIs at the Conclave. Does Mercy of Kalr often speak through you?”

“I do when it’s convenient, Fleet Captain,” Seivarden said, for _Mercy of Kalr._ “Captain Seivarden is accustomed to representing me in system affairs. It is comfortable for us both.”

No humming at all, in this little silence now; they’d managed to surprise her entirely. It didn’t feel like an achievement.

“My ship generally speaks to me directly,” Breq said.

“And in council meetings?” Ship asked through Seivarden.

“One of the soldiers speaks for it,” Breq said. Shifting a little. Uncomfortable.

“Well,” Seivarden said, “it’s petty, I know, but I’m almost glad some things are different, besides just my absence.”

Breq looked up, and their eyes met; as always it was an intense, uncomfortable experience. Seivarden tried to hold still.

“Captain Seivarden,” Breq said, “you’re somewhat different from the person I remember.”

Seivarden felt herself flush. She tried to picture herself as Breq must be seeing her, the mental comparison she must be making: older than she’d been at thirty-eight, her face more lined, skin thinner than most Radchaai her age. Hair prematurely grayed, elaborate braids replaced by a simple bun. A jacket almost devoid of pins.

She didn’t imagine it was the physical changes Breq was referring to, however.

“I hope so,” Seivarden said, quietly. She looked down at her hands.

“Thank you for the tea,” Breq said. “It was very good. I’d like to request all the data you have on your last trip through gate space, as it seems likely that was where the anomaly occurred.”

“Of course,” Seivarden said, and then, “Breq.”

Breq, who had been moving to stand up, stilled.

“Are you happy?” Seivarden asked.

Silence. Breq sat there, entirely blank. The question probably didn’t make any sense to her, Seivarden thought, and her heart ached.

It had been a very long year, and now there Breq was, within arm’s reach, and yet too far away to touch.

“I know that was rude of me to say,” Seivarden said. “I only mention it because, you know, you could be.”

“With you?” The tone itself held no incredulity, but it didn’t have to.

Seivarden was therefore perhaps a little sharp when she responded, “With anyone.” With _Mercy of Kalr_ , she almost said, but it probably wasn’t her place to speak for a ship she didn’t know. But if she didn’t, then who would?

“You found me on Nilt,” she said, instead. “I was dying. I was- I’m sure I’m dead, in this universe. If we never met. If my suspension pod was ever found.”

“I see,” Breq said. “But you’re here now. Perhaps for good, if we can’t work out how to send you back.”

The thought of that- she’d been trying not to think of that. To be once _again_ in a universe that held no place for her-

_You won’t be alone, Captain._

Yes.

And in a way it was probably a less awkward situation than her ship and her soldiers found themselves in, in a universe that had a place for them and that place already filled. She would have to be sure to look after them, make new places for them all if necessary. That was at least a purpose.

“I’m sure I’m not the dead officer you wanted to suddenly appear out of nowhere,” she said to Breq. That was actually almost funny, when she thought about it from Breq’s perspective, but now wasn’t the time to laugh, not even from nerves. Especially not from nerves. “I won’t impose myself upon you. But this is a ship full of loyal Republic citizens. They deserve a home.”

“They’ll have one,” Breq said. “One way or another.”

Seivarden stood, and bowed, as deeply as she thought she could get away with. “Thank you,” she said.

“No thanks are necessary,” Breq said, rising fluidly and bowing in return.

Then she paused, head tilted, humming in the way that meant she was listening to her Ship. She appraised Seivarden a moment, and then said, “ _Mercy of Kalr_ says thank you.”

“What for?” Seivarden asked, mystified.

“I’m not certain,” Breq said. “I’ll speak to you soon, Captain, Ship.” She bowed again, and went to the door. It opened, and both Ekalus were behind it. Breq blinked. So did Seivarden.

“I’ll show you both back to your shuttle,” said one of the Ekalus, which Seivarden was fairly certain was her Ekalu.

“Thank you,” Breq said, and they left.

A few moments later the door slid open again, and Kalr Four entered. “It’s Ship,” she said, and walked to where Seivarden sat, and opened her arms. Seivarden rose, and put her arms around Four’s shoulders, and folded herself into Four’s embrace.

“It’ll be all right,” Ship said.

“Yes,” Seivarden said. “Yes.”

 


End file.
